Kingsman: The Secret Service
The life of man is solitary, poor, nasty, brutish & short-
…and the revered English philosopher didn’t have to sit through this endlessly frenetic, mean-spirited movie that stands as the most embarrassing moment in Colin Firth’s otherwise exemplary film career. British director Matthew Vaughn (Layer Cake, X-Men 1st Class) has adapted a comic book series authored by Mark Millar & David Gibbons entitled “The Secret Service” into this noisy, sophomoric exercise that will appeal only to an adolescent audience.
Michael Caine and the much underappreciated Mark Strong are also on board for this joyless attempt to ride the coattails of the James Bond franchise, but their roles are fortunately much less embarrassing than Firth’s, who spouts some of the most asinine dialogue heard in recent memory while wearing facial expressions reminiscent of a basset hound.
25 year-old Taron Egerton brings only a bland expression and toned physique to his role as a working class punk chosen to attend a privately financed school for spies. Mentored by Firth, he soon excels at a combination of physical and mental skills, which are soon put to work battling Samuel L Jackson’s lisping techno-genius, who’s embarked on world domination by implanting micro-devices behind the ears of various world leaders.
Strong and Caine have mercifully immaterial supporting roles but Swedish actress Hanna Alstrom suffers the movie’s most egregious moment playing a princess whose bare derriere closes the film in as hopelessly sexist a screen moment as audiences are likely to suffer this year.
The Verdict? Expensive, boring junk
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